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Re-balance
There are a lot of new things happening in the Tribiani household lately and I'm feeling really good from it. I really feel as if things are re-balancing and I'm taking back control of things. *I is back home and going to a mainstream school is no longer an option for this family. We gave it a go and as usual became disappointed in the system. I knew it wasn't going to be different, the system doesn't change just because you change schools. Not only was there illness, headlice and bullying but there was threats of home investigations because our daughter had time off for being poorly. Utterly not acceptable in my book. From past experiences I know first hand you can't battle the school system but you can choose to not be a part of it. So *I is back home, not something she was completely happy about but after explaining the seriousness of the matter she does understand and know now that what the school have done is totally unfair. *I has very much been institutionalised by the system and with access to the internet so readily available and American movies that put emphasis on how important a school education is she still had the mindset that home education wasn't a "proper education". But seeing that our older daughter has got into college at age 14 I think she is starting to realise just how much time is wasted at school learning things that aren't relative to your personal interests. Sure, core studies(in our family opinion) are relevant but if you're not a sporty type or a history buff and the thought of drama fills you with fear, then what is the point? Surely it's best to fill your time with hobbies and intellectual interests that you actually care about? That's what we believe anyway, not just philosophically but practically for personal growth. So knowing that she is re-adjusting, and pretty well, to be honest, I also have to adjust. I was always the one to try and open them up to different subject and topics to see what interested in, just because they hadn't been used to thinking for themselves regarding education. But now I'm really handing over the reigns to *I and *O and they're ready for it too. It's taken a while, longer than I expected, but it's happening and I couldn't be happier to see just how much they have grown in free thinking. Their opinions especially make me smile. I love how they get passionate about worldly issues, what affects them emotionally and being able to express it with encouragement and understanding rather than being worried about speaking up in a classroom with 30 other sets of eyes looking at them in judgement.
Now *O had his nose put out of joint when we told him *I was going to be home educated again. He really loved having me to himself and I thought the sulks would last longer than they actually did. I think he sees that there are benefits to having his sister back at home. Someone to play more games with during the day she likes to read him stories too. But I've assured him that we will still have our 1:1 style learning and cook together etc. He's happy and like *I is enjoying having a more personal choice rather than me trying to get them to try a bunch of new things. The house is much more harmonised now. The kids are getting enough sleep and with being able to sleep in in the morning it's making them more relaxed and happier to learn. *N is enjoying college and without me having to get on her case about doing homework she is taking responsibility for her work and just getting on with it. Which I'm really pleased about. I keep her in a bit of a bubble, as you do with your first born I guess, but to see her taking control of things and doing for herself makes me so proud. Even if it does mean she's growing up quicker than I'm ready for. She's enjoying the course she's doing but I think maybe after the course is finished she will look into other area's as the childcare part of the course is now not available due to lack of interest from other students. Doesn't seem fair to me but if they can't get the numbers then they don't get the funding so that's just how it is. But *N is making the most of it, I think it's really done her the world of good, and the very best part, she said the other day that she's actually proud of herself. That really touched me. It's not often enough that she praises herself, it was lovely to hear.
There's less stress on the hubs as now he doesn't have to come out of college to pick up *I from school or get up as early to get her there on time and get himself into college on time. He wishes there was more time for practical work at the college and does get frustrated when the tutor wants to teach him how to behave in an interview, write a covering letter and create a C.V. Something they have to teach the school leavers but it's a little condescending and a big waste of time for the hubs. There's also a sub-course required for them to complete called CPD. I don't know what that stands for but basically a weekly briefing about equal rights, acceptance of religion in the workplace, political correctness, what might be considered offensive to others etc etc etc. He's had enough life and work experience in many different fields to understand what is acceptable and what isn't. He's going to ask if he can spend the time more productively and practice actually laying brick. I'm not holding my breath on him getting the result he wants but I do understand his point.
I've been trying to lose weight as I think I've mentioned before by doing WW pro points with my friend *K. I think initially I did lose some weight but I wasn't eating anything much different to usual. So I tried cutting out more treats. That worked for a bit too. But then I made the choice to go from pescetarian to vegan (for ethical reasons, not weight loss reasons) and have found I've lost more weight in the last week than I have in the 6 weeks I've been on points. I wasn't expecting such a result as I didn't think I ate as much dairy as clearly, I did. It's been a massive adjustment and I didn't realise just how much dairy there was in many foodstuffs. The shopping has been a bit all over the place but a friend introduced me to Ocado that has so much choice all in one place and now I'm finding it a lot easier than having to go shop to shop. It is more expensive buying it for *N and I (she's gone vegan too) but funnily enough, if I buy enough for everyone to eat vegan it's working out a little less than buying two separate lots of shopping. I don't understand how but it just is. The new tastes are taking a little getting used to, and I know I'm going to find it hard to give up fish, but my ethical and emotional heart speaks louder than my stomach's rumble for a salmon and dill pastry. I think it's weird that people still laugh when others turn vegan as if they're somehow a bit of a snowflake or there's something wrong with them. They seem to have more of a problem with it than I do adjusting to a new way of eating. We're programmed to believe that we can only get our nutrition from animals and that its ok because it's what they're bred for. Not true. If you can look like David Haye and be a vegan there's absolutely no reason to eat animals, and no animal is happy to die to fulfil our selfish stomachs. I'm so happy I've done it. After 24 years of being a pescetarian, I've finally taken the plunge and gone full vegan. I'm very proud of myself. I'm also proud of *N and my mum who have also given up meat forever. It's the way forward as far as I'm concerned.
So that's our house over the last week. It's been quite emotional.